The Table Group with Patrick Lencioni released a great podcast titled “Be a jerk” which discusses the importance of speaking raw truth to your team, especially when it is uncomfortable.
Throughout their discussion they distinguish a difference between “jerk” and “Jerk”. Being a Jerk (big J) means what you’d typically think. It is someone who says and does things with poor or negative intentions. Being a jerk (little j) is when you say something with great intentions, even though it is uncomfortable or difficult to say, and might be initially taken the wrong way.
As Patrick said “the overwhelming majority of organizations try to be nice to one another, and as a result of that people get hurt later because they are fired and don’t know why, or people say things behind their back. Or, the organization fails because nobody’s really confronting the real issues.” Too often we do not say what we think because we are worried of how it will be taken by our peers. This goes for saying something to someone or bringing up a topic with your team.
When we push ourselves out of the comfort zone and say the things that need to be said, it will be appreciated. In fact, by not saying something, you are depriving the people around you of growing in that area. Therefore, you are being a Jerk (big J) by not addressing it.
Here are some rules of thumb when it comes to speaking the truth to others, even when it is uncomfortable:
- Is it true? If yes, then it needs to be said.
- Is this just allowing me to vent on this person? Or, is it for their best benefit? This should be to encourage and help someone grow – not to tear them down because of your own negative reaction.
- Say it the first time! If you don’t, it will build and turn into a negative feeling rather then a chance for helpful criticism with positive intent.
Click Here to listen to the podcast.
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